Five minutes into Sextraterestrials, we began wondering what attracted Tina Tyler and James Bonn —surely two of the best thesps in the biz— to this flaccid turkey of a parody vid. As Agents Mundane and Scuzzy (hardy har fucking har) they're investigating aliens whose arrival on Earth was initiated by surveying —hold your sides now— our hardcore cable channels!

Naturally, the alines run around a dude ranch in golden jumpsuits, talking like they're robots from El Segundo and hitting on every random porn starlet who seems to be vacationing there.

While Tina's acting skills are wasted, her sexual expertise is honed by resident alien Brick Majors in a hot missionary tabletop scene, where she jerks him off to climax. Likewise, Bonn rockets into the rectal launch pad of a tasty redhead in another noteworthy grope. Being the last two encounters on the tape, it's like traveling to Venus for a hot brunch.