Once upon a time, a young upstart named Joanna Angel burst onto the porn scene with her own brand of alt/punk/whatever-you-want-to-call-it smut whose first outing in full feature-length glory was a quasi parody aptly titled Joanna’s Angels, in which Ms. Angel and her band of tattooed crime fighters used their sexual charms to save New York City from a brainwashed madman by the name of Tommy Pistol. And Joanna Angel’s most beloved franchise was born.

Sadly, after the even better sequel hit, Tommy Pistol retired from performing, effectively bringing the series to a premature end, since he was as integral and irreplaceable a part of it as Joanna herself. Fast-forward nearly four years, and suddenly, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, AVN’s 2007 Best Male Newcomer comes sashaying out of retirement, and immediately, Joanna bolts to the drawing board and whips up plans for the long-awaited JA3. 

The result is everything fans held out for all that time and more. From frame one, there’s an undeniable sense that you’re right back in classic, prime Joanna Angel territory … the mental playground where she’s always had the most fun and felt the freest.

The Angels’ uproarious mission this time around is to put a stop to an epidemic spreading across Los Angeles by way of a shimmery line of clothing called “Affucktion.” Designer and company owner Evan Stone, you see, has drenched each clothing item in a potion that turns whoever wears it into an inanity-spewing, fist-pumping douchebag zombie. (A douchebie? A zombag? We don’t know.)

Like always, Tommy Pistol steals the show as the bumbling single cock owner among Joanna’s crew. (And he makes great use of it, by the by, in two bang-up scenes: the opening three-way with Draven Star and Kleio, and a b/g midway through opposite Juelz Ventura.)  Here, Tommy has developed a magical ability known as “banana power” that serves an unlike purpose during a douchebag zombie attack later in the movie.

Evan Stone, of course, gives Tommy a good run for his money in terms of comedic screen command … without spoiling anything, just wait’ll you get a load of Stone’s flashback sequence; it’s likely the funniest thing you’ll see in a porno all year.

Now, it would be futile to attempt running through the sexual highlights of JA3, because literally every scene is outstanding. And there’s a lot of them (seven, if you want to get particular about it). This is bar none the hottest cast Joanna Angel has ever assembled, and they all deliver the supremely strokable goods.

What more can we say? Joanna’s Angels 3 is a pure delight from beginning to end. Porn gods willing, we won’t have to wait until 2014 for the next one.