The only reason we granted this one AA is because there's no such rating as "bewildering." We've seen many bizarre sex acts in our day - stuff we can mention (but would rather not) and even more shocking stuff that we can't mention (and regret having been duped into watching). But. But. Ah – we're kinda speechless here.

Sex Machines is off the map of human arousal. Yes, we're aware that this mechanical piston can be justified as a glorified vibrator. Yes, we're aware that the women participating in the video really enjoy the ride. But no, unless we're way off target, who the hell wants to watch a machine fuck a human being? Great Zombie Jesus, this is "assemblyline sex" taken to its literal limit!

Any yet, mysteriously, this series has reached eight volumes and shows no signs of letting up. Guess it falls under the category of A.U. - Artificial Unintelligence. What do they use for lube, anyway - WD-40?

Retailing: For people who dress up as C3PO at Star Wars conventions.