It will come as a shock to no one (except, perhaps, the producer) that another Great Moment in Hubris has arrived. Nothing personal. We don't know Dez from Desi Arnez. Apparently he thinks we should. Is there any particular reason why people are always talking about him, dropping by his crib, or looking for him? Quick, call Robert Stack - we have an unsolved mystery on our hands.

As star of his own life and temporary annoyance in ours, Dez still manages to provide a fairly arousing night at the boob tube - provided your customers are into big, fake knockers. Naturally, he saves the best breasts for his own scene with Autumn and Vanessa Lane. After a roundelay of double-dipping he squashes one girl's face between the cleavage of the other and hoses down the tit sandwich with gobs of runny man-mayo.

Retailing: All together now: big tit section!