With all apologies to Ian Fleming I proceed onward...

The religious right is taking over the world!

Holy headlines of horror! They (the religious right) want to outlaw sex for recreation and limit it to purposes of procreation. What is a wanton lover of sexual entertainment to do?

Well, have no fear (and see no evil) because Angel is on the job. As Super-Agent Vacuum (an apt monnicker if ever there was one), she and her cohorts, Triple X and 36D, are ready and more than willing to further the cause of freedom of sexual patriotism, otherwise known as what keeps America hard. Together they hunt down and prepare to catch these devilish schemers in the act of hypocritical fornicating.

If this sounds breathless, that is because Jerome Tanner's For Your Thighs Only is a very tongue-in-cheek romp that will leave you panting for more. With lines such as "you are sacrificing you're hymen for your country" and "synchronize your crotches," this is far and away one of the goofiest adult features this side of New Wave Hookers. For once, the entire cast is dead-on in their roles, with Jamie Gillis flat-out hysterical as a preacher (!) who prefers to sermonize on the nearest couch rather than the pulpit. His fire and brimstone rant about the evils of pornography is nothing short of a classic.

And speaking of classics, let us not forget the ever-so-divine Angel (remember, this is a film about religion). From her man-handling of Peter North to her "suck-murder" (I kid you not) of Ron Jeremy, this is one woman who knows how to get the job done. If you take Angel and the other girls on our side, Secret Agent Cherry and Miss Moneypussy (take that Mr. Bond), these white chicks could rule the world: a world free of religious angst and endowed with a boundless craving for pure, raw sex. What a concept!

Kudos to Mr. Tanner, the cast and crew for producing an adult video I enjoyed viewing in one sitting. With witty and sometimes corny dialogue and wall-to-wall ball-blasting. For Your Thighs Only is top-notch entertainment. I cast an early vote for best shot-on-video feature of the year. I even have an idea for a sequel.

Bunraker.

Once again, my apologies to Ian Fleming.