"I want unicorns, dildos, trains colliding. I want filth. I want anal, I need romance…fantasies…Rapunzel…legs in the air…beautiful women…but be creative, and get the fuck out of here," producer Toni Moe tells screenwriter Marc Wallice. Moe forgot to add bells, horns and whistles. Making like a video Harlequin romance novel, Blonde Savage visualizes Wallice's mental boy-girl encounters. Of course when we had bigger budgets to work with, writers conjured up their fantasies via computers as in Scotty Fox's now seemingly ancient video, Magic Fingers, instead with pencil and paper. Oh, well.

In this you want it, you got it pastiche of sex scenes, Randy West takes on Savannah, who is gorgeous; there's a fourway with T.T. Boy, Candace Heart, Tiara West and Wallice; and Wallice's big coup is when he conjures up Alexandria Quinn. It will rent so it's worth a shot.