Since fully half of this feature is padded to the gills with recap footage — both sexual and exposi­tory in nature — the viewer need never see Part One to catch up. Actually, the viewer needn't see either films, as the total experience is akin to a polo match in a tar pit: somebody's going to score even­tually, but the pace is a killer.

As the curtain goes up on act two, Jonathan Morgan and Buck Adams are still dilly-dallying around a high-priced cathouse. Buck has no trou­ble at all playing hide the soap with pretty K.C. Williams (this gives you an idea of how long the flick's been shelf-sitting) in a bathtub banger which brackets a stand-up doggie session with K.C.'s fine oral administrations.

But Morgan's having second thoughts about plugging the ultimate "naked goddess" herself, Moana Pozzi. Maybe he thinks he's gay, as the dia­logue indicates (Tianna Taylor, are you watch­ing?). Or maybe he just can't understand a word of broken English that issues forth from her mouth, as the soundtrack indicates. Either solu­tion begins to induce nightmares for Jon-boy, who dreams of Moana in a black void, entangled in free-floating arms and sucking of bodiless dicks. A little Postum before bed ought to clear that up.

Rejected Moana seeks solace (no money ever exchanges hand in this joint) with Flame, who oils her up and kneads her like prurient pizza dough. Judging from Moana's reaction, she just lost the Italian lottery. A rear entry tryst with Buck lacks the initial penetration shot, which may prompt her to reply Morgan in a later scene: "To feel your sweet prick in my ass, I would gladly become a man!" as if it were a Bar Mitzvah vow.

Cut to Moana in a Santa Glaus beard and sun­glasses. Needless to say, this fools no one but Morgan, whose wood begins to stir as the beard­ed lady goes down on him. (At this point you can almost hear Morgan regretting the mistake of his career.) Off comes the disguise — he fucks the girl — and by God, he's cured!

Since Moana always looks great, her fans should be pleased with this effort. Market it from that standpoint.