Released | Jan 31st, 1995 |
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Running Time | 77 |
Director | Eric Edwards |
Company | Factory Home Video |
Cast | Tom Byron, Sandy Beach, Steve Drake, Jordan McKnight, Chase Manhatten, Crystal Gold |
Critical Rating | A 1/2 |
Genre | Feature |
If Helen Keller were to shoot a porno this is what it might look like. Sorry, no offense Helen. With shooting reaction shots (rather than action) and lackluster performances, Director Edwards (once at the top of this business) is apparently in cahoots with the Feds in destroying the adult industry.
I feel guilty wasting ink on this so I'll be brief. Steve Drake and his son, Tom Byron are in need of a nanny. They hire Chase Manhatten, "Fanny". Fanny the nanny, funny stuff huh? The one scene worth mentioning (and the reason for one A) is the Steve and Chase enthusiastic encounter. Even with an absentee penetration shot, Chase boldly auditions for the Harmonicats upon Steve's mouth organ, and rides him (in a reverse cowgirl) Annie Oakley-like. That's as good as it gets.
Even a Rwandan would find it difficult to keep his lunch down for the remaining courses. Tom Byron and Jordan McKnight eeeeee – I'm sorry I fell asleep at the computer (you get the picture). With nary a moan, Vince Vouyer and Crystal Gold are apparently card-carrying members of the Marcel Marceau fan club. Virtually non-existent heat couuld've been increased had they given more thought to the kingsize bed, rather than the tanning bed.
The good news about this vid, is that with a little scotch tape over the tab I'll be able to record Seinfeld this Thursday.