After watching the first impassioned scene, you may wonder why Wicked's premiere feature film is being soft-peddled.  Where's the big campaign push?  Dig deeper.  There's more covers on this cold war thriller than a white sale at Wal-Mart.  Wicked's rationale for inaugurating Deep Cover with this hopelessly outdated laboriously-contrived script may be forever buried in a dusty microfiche file: you'll find more inherent drama in Mad Magazine's Spy Vs. Spy.

Whether lurching into post-coital dialogue, or drowning in a labyrinthine plot that would make a John Le Carré novel look like Dick & Jane, the talent walks around in a somnambulistic fog, spouting off about a CIA "mole."  Though reactivated agent Woody Long's assignment to out the commie critter is as fruitless as medfly quarantine in southern California, he does get to wet his all-American noodle Celeste's spy-hole, which is about the only decent sex scene...

...Besides the opener, which is guaranteed to spark some global warming in your shorts.  In an unparalleled, awards-worthy performance of raw sexuality, Debi Diamond crawls atop a piano, has her pussy eaten by Stephen St. Croix, hangs her head upside down by the keys and proceeds to inhale his cock to the very hilt.  And you thought Michelle Pfeiffer's piano scene in The Fabulous Baker Boys was hot!  Debi the smuggles his bone up her ass, takes a cum shot to her face, and readies for round two - as she's literally thrown onto a couch and fucked furiously by T.T. Boy and Terry Thomas.  Whew!  Too bad this has nothing to do with the story, which sets up "defecting" Russian agent Marc Wallice into a dalliance with Hyapatia Lee.  The only thing defective here is genuine passion, folks.  Rent this sucker, watch the first incredible scene and then ship it to Siberia.

Additional cast: Melanie Moore, J.P. Anthony, Mike Horner, Tom Byron, Valeria.