When my son was a day and a half old, I used my camcorder for the first time. The sound quality on that tape is better than the sound on this one.

The opening scene is an interview with Abbey. I could hear that she likes her men long and hard, but the rest was lost to me – and, I suspect, will be to you. Abbey then does a short solo stint before taking on Don Fernando and an unbilled Bruce Lai. This is followed by bosomy brunette Joey, a new gal identified by process of elimination, whose mumblings might be understood by psychic Jeanne Dixon but I couldn’t make out a word. Zach Adams (aka Thomas) gets to butter her buns. Some older footage then surfaces with Chantilly Lace, Jake Steed, Devon Shire, Heather Hart and Johnny Love that is serviceable at best. Well, at least there are no two-foot dicks or latex hooters; just typical by-the-numbers couplings and orgies.