Wow! Or if you're dyslexic, Wow! It's hard to believe that Cinesex is even slightly related to ludicrous casting director scripts, poking pizza-delivery men and orgy fuck-boys. A super script by Raven Touchstone (winner of AVN's 1994 screenwriting award for Justine), beautifully directed and edited by Michael Zen (look out for his and Touchstone's Skin Hunger due out later this year), and nominations-worthy acting performances across the board.

Asia Carrera is a stripper who fantasizes about trading places with "Lucky" (Leena), a stripper herself, in one of her favorite 1940's movies. Through Asia's T.V. we see the tough talking Leena doing her best Veronica Lake. Complete with dames, dolls, tough guys, double-crosses, patsy's, fall guys, saps and rods, this movie within a movie is shot in a grainy, black and white style. It's a beautiful contrast with the fantasy celluloid world in black and white, while the present day is shot in color. Not only that, it'll also give you some insight as to what Ted Turner's dreams look like.

Asia's fiance (Alex Sanders) is concerned with her preoccupation with the movie and distracts her long enough to take her outside and stick his tongue up her ass. They rapidly show their enthusiasm at being members of the Oral Majority. Zen doesn't miss a beat -- of meat, in covering this well-done cowgirl/reverse cow/girl/mish/stomach-cumming tryst.

What's a couple to do after a heated love making session? Argue of course. Asia once again throws herself in front of her T.V. and fantasizes about Lucky's life and her tough-talkin'-cigarette-lighting-for-two-ball-of-testosterone boyfriend, Johnny (Steven St. Croix). Leena's unhappy with her Lauren Bacall/Humphrey Bogart relationship and would like to get laid for once rather than having to "fade to black." And before you can say, "Whatta broad" Leena's in color and Asia's another rube in the tube.

Upon learning of Asia's departure, Alex lays one on Leena's kisser before he "fades to crack." A brief mish and then Leena, in her high-pitched voice (that basset hounds all over town probably hump coffee tables to) asks, "Can you stick it in my butt now?"

Alex does his best Sammy Davis Jr. and says, "Yes I Can." A high and hard assball is delivered before Alex spews his goo. Note: Intercut with this scene is Krista musically masturbating in two-quarter time. Back to the chick in the flick: Asia and Steven who are on the lam, find themselves in a cabin. They kiss and instantly their black and white world is instantly hue-enriched. (It's a good thing, I couldn't take a "pan-to-window" ending). Ready for their rustic ritual, Asia and Steven enthusiastically "do the deed." Unfortunately, lack of penetration shots has a scene with great potential falling a little short.

The film (like Richard Gere trying to prove to the world that he's straight) comes sooo close. I just can't figure out the gratuitous, non-congruent sex scene (Krista and Ian Daniels doing their impression of a Pamela DesBarres/Gene Simmons--groupie/rock star fuck-a-thon) thrown in. Why? Por Que?

Kudos to Director of Photography Jack Remy; Zen, Touchstone, all of the talent and the entire crew. Cinesex is definitely World Series material and were it not for those obvious oversights they would have delivered "the shot heard round the world." And rather than touting Cinesex as an excellent film, I'd be screaming, "Metro's won the pennant, Metro's won the pennant, Metro's won the pennant."