"Curiouser and curiouser," remarked Alice as events grew disconcerting in Wonderland. No less curiouser here, as the F.J. Lincoln train arrives at parts unknown (located somewhere between Rinse Dream Land and Greg Dark park). To new motel tenant Lisa Ann, the sudden appearance of an Elvis/rapper (Tom Byron), a gorilla-suited stud (Joey Silvera) or The Cat Woman (Amanda Addams) is about as common-place as a stroll through Wal-Mart… for in this topsy-curvy world, the inmates are running the asylum.

Take "No Tell" proprietor Buck Adams, for instance. He's just as likely to enjoy a bit of rubberized head from his inflatable love doll than from Amanda Addams, but viewers may opt for the latter. Fingering her furiously through a cat-leotard, Buck then sweeps her upside down for some "standing 69" before a wild, hair-pulling floorside foray (great penetration shot!). "Penetrating" is also a key phrase for the anal assault that rapper/Byron delivers to roller-skating waitress Vanessa Chase, lapping at her backdoor banana split as if it were Haagen Dazs, and stuffing his sugar cone up her rectal Rocky Road.

Some rousing strap-on action through the ol' fishnet stockings sets the tone for a three-way girl game of "hide the phony baloney." Look for Jen Teal, whose girl-next-doorish appearance and unenhanced boobs contrast favorably with the more traditional porn gal looks of Ann and Addams.

Capturing the dubious distinction of "performing the wild thin with a member of the simian species" is Christina West, who downs Joey Silvera's hirsute banana as he swings on a jungle vine; then the ape man bends her over for some doggie-style jungle love. In an act of art imitating life, Nick East is typecast as an escaped mental patient. His feverish clench with Lisa Ann closes out the vid on an atypically sane note. Only in the adult world does "no sense make sense" – so stock No Tell Motel, don't analyze it.