A XXX greenhorn wouldn't necessarily know Crystal Wilder from Billy Wilder, but a seasoned spectator will certainly appreciate a bedroom serendipity involving Crystal with, for instance, Bionca.

In the Don King universe, the matchups not as much as the outcomes are the selling point, and "farm boy" Jim Holliday loquaciously packages First Time Ever liaisons (with each other) featuring the creme de la creme of porndom's womanhood.  The upshoot isn't necessarily a Ringling Bros. circus of lesbianism.  After all, one can't reasonably expect symphonic gestures from simple duets, but it is a pleasant, tingly triumph of concept, class performances and personality.

First Time Ever may also be the first time ever that Holliday assumes a few fashion risks - and GQ-approved ones at that.  A natty houndstooth jacket/bowtie combo sports memory lane intros like, "Winter of 1972-73: I was in a hotel room in Wisconsin..."  And we at the magazine know first hand where some of those Hollidayesque nostalgia jags can take you.

White ankle sox (Kylie Ireland wears them) is porno shorthand for a cherry girl sexual encounter.  While Kylie and Nina Hartley couldn't pass for virgins on a Halloween bet, their hand-groping bed-top tryst is a notable pacesetter for the four indoor/two outdoor scenes to follow.  There's the "Summertime Love Angel," the "Surfin' Angel" (as opposed to the "Surfin' Bird Angel"), and the "Haunted Eyes Angel."  Here's an opportunity to test your angel I.Q., and while you're doing that, delight to Angela Summers sticking her angelic feet up Debi Diamond's devilishly oily ass.  For added measure Jimbo goes on a potassium riff while feeding bananas to Shelby Stevens and Felecia - as if Canoga Park had just become a petting zoo.

"Farm boys can turn out okay," Holliday 'fesses up to Caressa Savage and Rachel Love.  Sure, Jim.  As long as they wipe the manure off their shoes before coming into the house.