Cute soundbites, pretty-girl camera angles and visually arresting exteriors of activity in and around the Film Festival can't dismiss the fact that, in Rumpman Goes To Cannes, a few cans simply don't get rumped.

Rumpman interviewee Melissa Hill plays out a little girl fantasy with "director" Dick Nasty. While Melissa sucks Dick's dick as though her life depended on it, her future on this planet doesn't seem to have an ironclad binding to the sphincter clause. The same goes for lovely Tanya, whose outdoor date with Dick produces beautiful wish-you-were-here skin tones but no invitation to partake of the Lariviare derriere.

Tammi Ann's cute and cuddly but solo in her fingers-up-the-ass scene. Brunette Raphaella gets her tanned cheeks splayed and spooned authoritatively by her bedroom partner Herve, but special recommends goes to blond Sheurley who takes it supplicantly in the deep end while in the breast stroke position.

Despite some unfulfilled expectations, lovely women and a snappy signature style make this show worth the time.