Whatever happened to Dick & Jane? Did they get eaten by Spot? Inquiring voyeurs want to know, because the substitutes for this spinoff serve up chillier cream than usual. In Vol. 1, some obnoxious dude who makes Ron Jeremy look anorexic introduces the viewer to "international" talent that is way too American. Only Amber Wood's girl/girl with a tattooed tart raises temperatures a tad. In Vol. 2, a "Mystery Man" in shades rambles on about his fear ob beding recognized before Kimberly Kummings unconvincingly teases, then pleases, his pecker. The lesbo action is lethargic. Return this "video mail" to sender.