Here's one to make you feel ancient: It's been twenty-five years since Linda Lovelace changed the face of adult with her unique glottis-stretching expertise. Do you remember where you were when you learned that only a women with a clit in her throat could experience "bells ringing... bombs bursting in air?"

Too young to remember Lovelace in her pre-WAP granola-feminist days? Not to worry. The gang at Arrow is searching for a "new Linda Lovelace" to commemorate the seminal Deep Throat's anniversary, with Bud Lee directing a series of over-the-top comedy features in order to find the winner.

As the quest begins, the Gunn family is at odds. Father (Bill Margold) and favored son (Jim Sparks) are reputable smut-peddlers who just want to find their blowjob queen and uphold Arrow's good name. But Margold's seed is an unpredictable one, and his ne'er-do-well sons Anthony Crane and Thomas Zupko have gone the way of sleaze and avarice, forming "Slutty Productions" to suit their nefarious dick-driven purposes. When Crane spies an article about runaway 19-year-old girls "who'll do anything for the price of a tootsie Roll," he can't wait to exploit them.

Margold and Sparks are up to their love handles in Deep Throat hopefuls; there're plenty of highlights in the vid's eight-plus scenes. Eric Price and Jill Kelly share a scintillating desktop multi-posish, while Margold blathers on about pornchicks of yesteryear. Okay, some might not consider that much of a highlight, but Taylor Maide certainly can't count herself among their number, After a hot Jake Steed anal, she receives an additional coating of spunk, fresh from Margold's member. Jay Ashley shows up with an eager, tattooed blonde who's so intent on swallowing him that tears slide down her nose, and Alex Sanders shows off the lessons he's learned from Daddy Max Hardcore, pushing the saliva limit with box cover baby Heaven Leigh.

Back at Slutty Prod., Ashley Renee does an impressive turn as a social worker who tells the brothers she's "willing to do whatever it takes" to stop them from exploiting these poor over-18-year-old runaways. A case could be made that "anything" means keeping a straight face as they dribble oil down her body, don dust masks and gloves, and invade her ass and pussy with fingers and toys before she effortlessly stuffs Brian Surewood's entire cock down her gullet. Renee's an odds-on favorite, but we'll have to wait for upcoming installments to see if she wins.

Shoot a best actor pre-nom to Anthony Crane, and best wishes to potential Deep Throat girls. May their gag reflexes forever slumber.