Barbecue, basketball, and banking are still the only reasons to visit Carolina. The day shift at some backwoods Tar Hell strip shack stopped pissing in the beer and slapping greaseburgers on the griddle long enough to hang a bilious purple tie-dyed backdrop on the wall and make a fuckvid.

These broads may be stars on the gap-toothed, cousin-fuckin’ chitlin’ circuit, but they’re just a collection of bad boob jobs by Porn Valley standards. You’re in major trouble when the tape’s highlight is the hostess feeding a guinea pig to her pet snake.