This feature gets two reviews, because even though it merits a near-recommendation, it also deserves a spanking.

The good stuff first: Anitas Blond and Dark are arguably the best things ever to come out of the end of the cold war. Thank Bob we got a look behind the Iron Curtain. The boys in this video are aesthetically on par with the girls, who are blessedly natural-breasted, gorgeous vixens, all the way 'round.

Don't you just love uncut cock? Uh, I digress.

The cross-dressing gambit utilized by Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in the original Some Like It Hot is played out to a semi-kinky apex, as Euro-gobs in lipstick and false eyelashes reveal their masculinity in the most turgid sense.

Don't you just love unc... sorry.

The plot is cute if corny, and the fucking-while-parachuting gig is worth a second look. Although the dubbing is somewhat annoying, pretty girls and steamy sex'll do the rest.

On the downside, watching performer Reinhard single-handedly infect three girls with genital warts lent a morbid undertone to this video that savvy viewers may not be able to, er, overcum. Yikes is right. That ass-to-pussy switchback crap has got to stop, too, period. Wasn't it my gynecologist who elucidated the whole "That bacteria's healthy in your colon but not in your cunt; your pussy cell walls are eaten away" thing? Listen up. Finally, Europe had better get with the condom program, or they are going to suffer the epidemic consequences. For shame.

Look here, Kovi, get your translator: You lost a full "A" for your STD-ignorant gaffes. VCA, you know better. Hello?