Sure, you could say this vid is just another gonzo house party thrown by typical bleached-and-tattooed self-styled revolutionaries and catering to the "Dude, we've got hot chicks with even hotter pussies, and we're just gonna let whatever happens, happen, man" youth-market aesthetic.

But that's like saying the inhabitants of Jonestown all got together one day to drink a little Kool-Aid: While essentially true, it just doesn't tell the story.

First off, overlook the fact that the vid was crafted by a guy who calls himself Kid Sparkle. His directorial instincts show far better judgment than his nom de guerre, best exemplified by not stopping the show when his talent's makeup slides off from the force of all the frenzied fucking they engage in. Trust us —these chicks have all the sparkle they need right in their sphincters.

Take Christgen Wolfe's mind-blowing tushy tango with Alec Metro, for instance: Here's a scene that puts the anal in analgesic. Metro revs up the tattooed blonde with some gooey, nasty rimming. "You realy do love it," he observes, stuffing his fingers into all of her available openings as she bucks and writhes. Demure flower that she is, Wolfe refuses to comply with Metro's request to spit in his face —so he spits in hers.

Think Wagner-meets-Black Flag, and you have the tone of the rest of their coupling. No tentative just-the-head-please stabs at the rectum here; Metro delivers a ball-slapping, slamming, shrieking poke to the howling blonde's posterior in the venerable sidesaddle position, with a gloppy facial finish. Whee. In these parts, that's known as a pre-nom.

But perhaps an intense ass-fuck isn't your cup of Astroglide? Then direct your attention to the impossibly-cute, tiny Nikki Neals (now sporting a rather unfortunate boob job) as she wonders aloud whether she can take on The Fist of Adonis. "It's a challenge, and I want to conquer it!" she asserts, as if she were embarking on a climb in the Himalayas. Sparkle gives her ass cheeks such a solid thwacking that tiny blood vessels burst and form a pattern of angry relief, before turning her over to the care of Brian Surewood, waiting with Wolfe and Chris Cannon for some living-room antics. There's some better-than-average sex here, but the main attraction comes when Surewood works the "fist" (and a respectable portion of the "arm") of this monster dildo into Neals' vag as her expression wavers somewhere between a smile and a grimace. (Let's take a moment to absorb the full idiocy of a government which tells us that this segment is as A-O.K. as a stroll on the beach, while the scene that follows in the uncut screener we received probably won't make the final edit, wherein Wolfe's vaginal canal swallows all five of Neals' long, black acrylics and keeps going to the wrist. Sadly, the excision will deprive viewers of the line of the year, as Wolfe growls, "Impress me, c'mon!")

Another segment that may or may not surface in this country occurs when Nancy Vee and brunette Petra relieve themselves in twin golden arches. Just be glad lesbian lust hasn't been outlawed (yet); the double-pronged dildos and strap-ons come out for an anally-inclusive shower-scorcher with Vee, Petra, gorgeous, full-breasted Tye, and —can that really be Raylene with strings of wet, matted hair hanging in her face growling like Beelzebub's bitch, eyes peering out of sockets blackened with smeared makeup? All four forgo the beauty breaks here, lending the scene a wonderful accessibility. to be fair, the verbal play seems a bit overdone, but consider the usual Oh-gross-I-have-to-lick-her-where? glammed-out gilr/girl fodder, and decide for yourself which is more strokable. Plus, there's lots of scissor-style box-bumping, and Amber and Tye add twat-toeing to their oeuvre; definitely the way to coax a smile out of this reviewer.

Note to Mikey Ramone's legion of groupies: Don't miss the post-credits sequence; your bad boy makes an appearance in an interview snippet with the Kid.