"These girls are boring as fuck!" fumes an aggravated Kid Sparkle after trying to do the gonzo-style interview thing with a bunch of mostly-Eastern European girls who barely speak English.

Yeah, dude, but they're beautiful. Sparkle kicks the vid off with a should-be-sobering-but-is-actually-pretty-funny touch of reality in the Leisure Time warehouse, as icy blond Caroline throws a totally hot, convincing fuck to Tony Montana —she even kisses him— but refuses to let Johnny Toxic touch her. Montana pounds away, wearing only his cowboy boots, while Johnny's left to watch enviously and smack his bitch up. Caroline finally modifies her 'tude, and it's a happy, happy ending as both guys pop all over her implant scars. Welcome to America, honey...

Elsewhere, we et gorgeous Euro-couple Sylvia and Chuck (whose buff blond torso appears to have sent the camera-person into a state of shock); and Dave Hardman gets real lucky in a picturesque outdoor bang with green-eyed Mira, and again in a poolside slam with curvy Nico. Sparkly seems happy to interview a chick who can understand him (platinum-cropped Brit Layla Jade) for the closer, working a few fingers inside her cooch ("Do you want me to do it?" she asks sweetly) as they talk. She ends up accomplishing the vid's only anal with Dick Nasty.