Did ya ever wonder exactly what kind of personality ran out and bought all those mood rings, Chia Pets and singing rubber fish? Rest assured, those individuals will undoubtedly think this untranslated Japanese novelty vid is one helluva gut buster. Worse still, they may think it's erotic.

Actually, POJ14 has its moments, which makes it all the more frustrating to review because we can't simply write it off as unadulterated trash. The girls are pretty, the videography crisp, and the sex sometimes rises to an acceptable level of heat ... until Mickey Yana - Goddamn his goofy ass! - trots out his repetitive and blatantly anti-sexual antics.

Imagine a helicopter blade: it spins on a central pivot. Well, so does Mickey. His fleshy shaft becomes, uh ... the rotary shaft. Once it's firmly planted in some tight Bonsai bush - usually raised high in the air, doggie-style - this idiot stiffens his body straight out, and literally spins around doing 360s, apparently convinced that such a refreshingly novel position [note: dripping sarcasm] will amuse his audience for hours.

In reality, Mickey cools any heat that may have been brewing. And when he's not playing a human pinwheel, Helicopter Man jumps around as if co-starring in an ersatz episode of Ultraman.

Rubbing salt in the sushi is an editing job that only Quentin Tarantino's mother could love. As the vid reaches its greatest potential, with an orgy sequence (I mean, how often do we get a decent Japanese orgy?) the linear flow becomes scrambled like so many deep-fried wontons. The action herks and jerks with cock-softening jump cuts. Wet spots appear and disappear on the bed. Of course, Helicopter Man is stitched into this mess because he's obviously such a charming sexual athlete! Not.