Much like the big-screen Avengers sequel bulldozing box offices this summer, Axel Braun’s own follow-up to his 2012 parody of the original makes very little sense and seems like more of an excuse for mindlessly gratuitous action than anything, but that hardly matters. In fact, this being porn and all, it kind of adds to the production’s overall satisfaction quotient rather than the opposite effect it has in the mainstream film—can you imagine how much better Age of Ultron would have seemed if it contained completely arbitrary sex scenes with Scarlett Johansson and Elizabeth Olsen?

But we digress. The basic plotline here, such as one exists, finds the Avengers trying to put a stop to the terrorist strikes evil organization Hydra is carrying out around the world. When Hawkeye (Eric Masterson), Ms. Marvel (Rikki Six) and Spider-Man (Xander Corvus) infiltrate the lair of Hydra operative Viper (Juelz Ventura), some henchman shoot Spidey with a gooey substance that turns him into bad, black-costumed Spidey, who soon thereafter attacks Hawkeye, leaving him badly injured. Though not, of course, before Ms. Marvel has gotten a poke from Hawkeye’s arrow and black Spidey has railed Viper up her pooper.

Nick Fury (Lexington Steele) dispatches Captain America (Josh Rivers), Mockingbird (Penny Pax) and brand new Avenger Wasp (Zoe Voss) to track down Spider-Man and the black stuff with which he got spooged. While they’re on that mission, Red Guardian (Eva Karera) attempts to recruit Winter Soldier (Seth Gamble) onto the team with her vagina.

Earlier in the movie, Cap America enjoys a boink in a holographic saloon with Maria Hill (a great looking Jayden Jaymes), and Fury gets a horizontal “briefing” from Wasp.

The ending leaves loose ends aplenty, so we can only imagine that around the time Avengers 3 arrives in theaters, a third entry in Axel Braun’s parallel franchise will arrive on the home screens of jack-happy comic book fans everywhere as well. Until then, this installment’s five terrific sex scenes, top-notch special effects and total absence of dullness should keep them well sated.