Amateur videos don't get much more amateur than this. Chris, a hot military guy (well, he is wearing fatigues and dog tags at least) with a sweet Southern accent watches porn and jacks off while taking direction from an offscreen voice.

Although he is blond and cute, Chris still seems more uncomfortable and shy than turned-on - and things only get worse. He goes from an office setting to an apartment decorated with all kinds of Americana kitsch, where he seems to be debating whether he really wants to go through with his porn debut. But that voice (whom he addresses as "Billy Bob") keeps at the poor boy until he is naked, jacking, and ultimately sucking and fucking with a tattooed stud named Lucas who just happens to be in the next room. This scene goes on and on, complete with bad camera angles and awkward moments. Boredom soon sets in - for the models and the audience. But the fun isn't over yet.

A pointless third segment titled "Candid Conversation With Chris" features an interminable interview with the newbie in which he accuses his cameraman of drinking all the beer in the house. Too bad no one bothered to clip a mike to Chris's shirt, because most of his answers cannot be heard. But after 90 minutes of this tedium, it's not like anyone will be listening anyway. Chris and Lucas are both attractive and engaging, but Pvt. Pillow Biter needs a good editor - and one who hasn't been hitting the bottle.