Why wait for your girlfriend to respond to your texts when you can have a super juicy snatch whenever you want? Simply add a little water in her willing vag (spit will work, too) and slip your boner deep inside. She’ll lube up in a jiffy, letting you plunge mercilessly to the point of unleashing your load all the way inside. With the air hole at the end to control the suction, you’ll get off in plenty of time to save your next load for your real date. PipedreamProducts.com