The box in which this roll-on, dick-stiffening concoction comes is adorned on the backside with a proclamation dated 1742 B.C. and addressed to the people of Rome. It announces that the state has acquired this "formula of the gods," and that boner troubles will henceforth be banished from the land.
For real Romans, the key to a healthy blue-veiner was to pay homage to Priapus, god of erections and fruit orchards. But since the last shrine to good ol' Priapus was closed around 350 A.D., we moderns have to depend upon the adult industry to keep our peckers perky when nature fails us.
Hence the roll-on concoction whose packaging is described above.
Does it work? The results were positive when tested out by one AVN writer, but then again the application was carried out by a busty, breeding-age Korean girl, so our data may be a bit tainted.
Therefore, the only way to find out whether or not Erection Lotion is the key to a brand-new crop of zipper-busting boners is to try it out for yourself. It just might be that there's a little bit of Priapus in that unassuming red and gold bottle.