I haven't been able to pull a chick since the first Clinton
Administration, so I had to call an escort service to find
someone to play the naughty boardgame Lust! with me.
"We move our pieces around the
board, pick cards and together we build a magical, erotic
evening!" I told Crystal enticingly.
First, I drew a "serenade your lover
with a romantic song" card, followed by a sensual scalp
massage and the order to "explain to your lover all the
wonderful things you feel about her."
Crystal said all of her cards read,
"Give your female partner 45 bucks or she'll cut you with a
broken bottle," but I don't think those were really in the
deck.