I'd been in heat lately. I didn't know what I could do to stop it. I went to fellow co-workers Kat O'Nine and Connie Castiliano and begged them to give me ideas on how to make my butt stop twitching every time I saw a hunky stud walk by.
Kat mentioned that when a female cat is in heat, the way to soothe her is to rub a Q-tip around her anus. Well a Q-tip was not what I needed. I need it big and I need it fast!
So Connie, in her infinite wisdom, handed me three adorable vibrators (pink, lavender and silver), about 7 inches long, slathered in silicone and buzzing with excitement. She offered to help me rub them around my anus but I decided that I need the help of a man. No offense, it's just that girls make me feel all icky.
Luckily, my gorgeous houseboy Brandon was home and offered his services.
Now, not only is my house clean, but I am no longer in heat.
Well, until the next hunky stud wanders by....