Jeremy: ... come on, it's tiny. It's what? Four inches? You've had bigger inside you.

Anus: I was never too thrilled about that.

J: Don't you mean those?

A: Save it for your diary. This is me here

J: Listen —it's whisper-quiet, so no one will hear.

A: Who would listen?

J: Come on, it's remote control! I could stand 15-20 feet away and get someone to send shivers of delight into you.

A: You're really pushing me here. Don't make me embarrass you in public like I did at that convention.

J: We were never going to talk about that again.

A: You weren't.

J: Listen, all I'm asking is you give it a chance. As an editor, I need to try these toys out so that the retailers and their customers know what they're getting. It keeps food on the table.

A: I never really see the food. Except —

J: Don't be disgusting. Batteries are included, it looks great, attractively packaged. How can you say no? This could be a lot of fun!

A: Screw you. Beg.

(long pause)

A: Wait a minute. I didn't give permission —I can't breathe! I can't—

J: (grinning and vibrating) He can be such an asshole.