Okay, so she’s not a warm body – but you don’t have you to remember her birthday, send her flowers, take her on a date, or even talk to her. And, barring slow leaks, random encounters with sharp household objects or just plain too much exuberance on your part, she’ll always be there for you – three holes, fake tits, and a painted-on face – probably not unlike some of the women you’ve dated in your sordid past.