America truly is the land of possibility and promise. We are an innovative people. We blaze trails. We pioneer and perfect. We invent ingenious new sex toys, and we work overtime to make extant erotic devices even better.

Take, for example, the simple strap-on. Although not an American invention —the ancient Greeks had 'em first— the strap-on has nonetheless reached perfection in the hand of We the Chosen People of the New World. First there was the strap-on, which also sported a phallic attachment situated to give pleasure when she was doin' the pushin'. Brilliant. The trotted out to market was one which boasted vibrating dongs both fore and aft. Now, at long last, years of Yankee head-scratchin' have come to glorious fruition and the creme de la creme in strap-on design has finally made the scene. The Double Lover Strap-On sports a pair of multi-speed dongs arrayed as described above, but with a new, utterly brilliant twist. Once the business-end pseudo-dick is buried deep within a nice, moist orifice, it can be inflated like a balloon with a hand pump. Easy entry followed by mind-blowing girth is the hook here, and an irresistible hook it is, friend and neighbors.