A few years back, Kate T. thought her sex life was over. The stress from her accounting job had rendered her non-sexual, "even to the point of not masturbating." Because she's in her 50s and single, she accepted what she considered to be her fate. That is until she bought a computer, logged onto the Net, and discovered more than just chitchat in the chat rooms. Assuming the alias of "Hotquack," she explored the world of cybering (a.k.a. cybersex) and discovered that her desert wasn't completely dry. And while Hotquack says she wouldn't classify online sex as "better" than the real thing, she confesses she has learned more about her sexuality in cyberspace than she ever did offline.
More and more women are exploring the virtual world and for many of them, sex is on the agenda. According to Media Metrix, an Internet research company, nearly 20 percent of female Internet users 18 and older visited a sex site in May of 1998, up from 15 percent in January of 1998. While those numbers may seem modest compared with the 45.4 percent and 41.3 percent of men who visited a sex site during those same periods, the percentages point to a growing demand for online products and services for women.
Carla Paterson, Webmistress to Purve.com, a porn site geared toward women, finds it hard to believe that this market had stayed virtually untapped for so long. "When I started this, I couldn't believe that no one had targeted adult material at women," says Paterson. "It's proven, women like to shop, so why not sex stores and porn sites?"
Sex stores for women have already proven themselves online. Good Vibrations, a San Francisco-based adult shop geared toward women, has been selling sex toys, videos and other forms of erotica since 1977. It went online just two years ago and almost 50 percent of their business is coming in through the Web. "This is unheard of in more traditional types of businesses," says Anne Semans, an employee of Good Vibrations and co-author of the book The Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web. "Big corporations aren't nearly having this type of success online."
Whether female porn sites can have the success of an online sex store geared toward women is still up in the air because the market is so new. About 100 sites for women now exist, according to Paterson. When she began Purve last year in July, she knew of only three. An article in the August 13, 1998 edition of The New York Times referred to Purve.com as the "first sexually explicit subscription site designed specifically for heterosexual women. And that makes its debut something of a cultural signpost."
Purve is probably the most successful paysite geared to women. The site's subscriber base has hovered around 10,000 members since late December. It gets about 2,000 unique clicks per day on average, but on a good day it can get around 10,000. It's conversion rate is great, 1/100 or better, which is nearly ten times greater than the conversion rate at a typical male-oriented site.
Financial opportunities for sex sites for women may not currently be as lucrative as their male counterparts. But the real value of female-oriented Internet porn is exploration and liberation, as well as financial opportunities as content providers in a safe environment. No doubt, sex on the Web for women is only in its beginning stages and will evolve as it propagates sexual growth and change among women.
The Differences Between Men and Women
It's easy to say that men and porn are a match made in cyber heaven, but the components of this blissful union can be attributed to several factors. Television, radio and Internet sex guru Dr. Susan Block notes that just a few years back it was nearly 99 percent men on the Net, so of course a lot of Internet content would be geared toward them. Also, the fact that society generally accepts men purchasing sexual entertainment more readily than women mirrors the online world. Dr. Block also attributes part of the phenomenon to biology. "I don't think men are hornier than women or more sexual than women, but men do have a more urgent attitude toward sex and tend to be more visually stimulated," Dr. Block says. "Women want sex to be related to other concepts: to beauty, to stories, to art, love, fashion and scandals," she continues. "When they just see genitals, it's like 'Okay, so what?' while men go 'Wow! That's really cool.'"
Block believes that as more and more women get computers and get comfortable using the Web-and as content changes according to their needs-more and more women will be visiting sex sites.
Content For Women
A surfer responding to the question of what she wanted online said adamantly, "No models, no gay guys. A site for women like me would be no pretty boys, but real men. No hairless, oiled bodybuilders... yuck." One bi-curious surfer echoed the same attitude. She said she loves looking at women but hates the Playboy types, that they make her feel insecure about herself, and their overall look is "just plain unnatural."
Holly Moss, marketing manager for content provider iGallery, says that when female oriented sites need material for women, they normally buy gay content. "It's all about demand and what makes money," says Moss. "If someone-probably from a bigger site-came to us and proposed content for women, we would certainly consider it.
"But my view as a woman, I don't think that we're about porn the way that men are. I would enjoy chats and reviews and being able to interact, rather than masturbating at a picture of a naked guy," says Moss.
This is the tune that many women seem to be singing: stories, or stories with pictures-which may be why Purve.com has over 15,000 erotic stories in its collection. In many cases, erotica is becoming even more creative on the Web than it has been in print. Many writers who felt restricted by the rules and regulations governing explicit content in romance novels have taken their writing to the next level via the digital medium. One thriving genre of erotic literature known as "slash fiction" or "slash fan fiction" borrows from popular TV shows such as Star Trek and The X-Files, and takes these characters to a sexual level that you'd never see on television. It tends to be written by women and often has homoerotic and/or sadomasochistic qualities to it.
The proliferation of erotic literature on the Net reflects what many women like to see; but like men, many other women's sexual interests fall outside of stereotypical boundaries. "We've found that women's tastes are much more varied than once thought, but as a whole they are more mentally stimulated," Paterson says. Some Purve.com subscribers like to sit for hours masturbating over the live feeds, while others prefer reading stories, or even writing their own erotica at the site. Paterson says she has been asked to include more creative content, like illustrated stories and adventure games. And yes, there is even a contingent of users who say they'd just like to see "more guys jerking off."
The bottom line is that many Webmasters feel that a female-oriented site requires more variety and content than might be found at a typical site aimed at men.
Porn, Magazine Style
Beyond just having the content, a successful Webmaster must present it in a format acceptable to women. For example, Purve.com's site looks like a print magazine, complete with informative articles, sex quizzes, erotic stories, chat, and even a section on astrology. Remind you of the latest issue of Cosmo? It's supposed to. The format is used to set a "female tone," which translates into content that both stimulates and educates. Features range from "Men in Uniform," to "Aphrodisiacs, " to Sex Education,-sex ed being one of the most popular commodities on porn sites. Message boards at sites such as Salon.com, www.salon.com, consistently show women swapping educational tips and information on sex.
Beyond setting a female tone, the magazine style also connotes taste, which many women complain is lacking on sites meant for male viewership. "Taste is always a subjective thing. It's so hard to describe, but you know it when you see it," says Dr. Block, who uses this same magazine format on her site, www.drsusanblock.com. Taste complaints about sex sites are that they are often flashy, without focus, and degrading to women. One online surfer says that male sites often look like they were made in the '70s, with bad decorating and worse hair cuts.
When comparing a "typical" male-oriented adult site and Purve.com, Paterson says that hers is much more personal and has a community feel. "It appeals to the body the mind and soul. There's a lot more 'mental' stimulation' with more than just pics and video," she offers. "Women need to know their desires and fetishes are normal...whereas men are a lot more relaxed with wanking over a dirty picture." And women have definitely been relaxed at her site. Paterson has been "blown away" by Purve subscriber response to their candid cam voyeur feeds. The girls love to watch the guys going about their daily business.
Paterson also runs a silent vibrator competition in which women have to answer what the first thing is they would do with the vibe if they were to win it. "Some of the E-mails have been truly filthy," Paterson reveals. One contestant wrote in: "When I first receive my silent vibrator I would take it to a presentation at my ad company. When the slide show starts and the lights go out, I could inch up my skirt and give myself an outrageous, unbelievable orgasm." Paterson credits the anonymity of the cyber world for instigating quotes like this. "The Internet keeps women from having any inhibition which would normally stop them from showing their inner animal," she says.
Anonymity, Safety & the Deviant Life
It's because of the safety and security the World Wide Web delivers that the female animal often rears its horny head. Safety can exist mentally or physically: Safety from catching or spreading STDs, safety from pregnancy, safety from any kind of unwanted behavior, and safety from being vilified as a slut or nymphomaniac. "Because of the anonymity, women can explore their sexuality and fetishes and not worry about their reputation. For men to be known as someone who pursues sex is not such a bad thing. A woman gets called a slut," Dr. Block says.
The relaxation of inhibitions allows uncommon or "deviant" desires to flourish. "Women can explore their foulest, vilest fantasies without anyone needing to know," says an online citizen who calls herself KafkaFan. "If someone walks into the den, I can just snap the window shut and make like 'No, I was not checking out golden showers."
Fetish and S/M in cyberspace are also attracting a large female crowd, including KafkaFan. "Many are drawn to it because of the male-female power thing. It's about power play," she says. She feels that large numbers of women in the deep, dark recesses of their mind are itching to know what it's like to be put over a big, powerful man's lap and be spanked.
Hotquack had never explored the world of fetish and S/M until her Netlife began. She used to visit a "hot tub" chat room that was complete with a virtual Jacuzzi and bar. "I liked it because there was a lot of flirty type play." She would pretend she was a duck and get her feathers all wet in the tub.
"One guy would pretend to put on his waders and go duck hunting. We used a lot of sound files and he had a shotgun sound file," she remembers. Because she's a submissive, cybering consisted of him telling her what to do, for how long and where to touch herself and her scrawling back how it felt. When they would get to a certain steamy point, she and the duck hunter would open a picture file, which showed precisely what he was doing to her. Hotquack uses multimedia to further enhance her cyber experience by using a speech program that reads what is being typed so she can close her eyes and enjoy a richer experience.
Exploring these and other fantasies on the Web is helping to push the boundaries of sexuality both online and off: Often a friend will E-mail another friend a nasty photo; the recipient then goes online, surfing various sites, maybe chatting, then masturbating to an online fantasy; then she talks to her boyfriend, making the fantasy a potential reality. "Once women start exploring they may realize they like something they had never thought about before," KafkaFan says. "For example, looking at naked women is something that turns me on, but I think a lot of women don't know they like something until they've seen it."
One 23-year-old surfer by day lives "the normal heterosexual life" with her boyfriend. But when asked about what she likes to see at porn sites, she lists a series of fantasies that belie her public image:
* She loves looking at bare-breasted women "if they have their hand down their sexy panties."
* She loves seeing "girl next door" type lesbians.
* She likes spanking pictures.
* Her only longing for hardcore sex would be a look into the "mysterious" world of male-male action.
Whether a woman desires "normal" or "deviant" fantasies, the keyboard and screen make no judgement but many female surfers want that anonymity must be respected. One surfer says that without privacy, it's not worth it to her. "The main reason I don't go to sex sites is that I don't trust the links and do not want to be tracked or sent solicitous material," she says. Webmasters creating a female friendly site might do well to remember comments like this when deciding whether to use cookies and when creating a privacy policy.
Exhibitionism, Sex, and Money
Dr. Block has interviewed many women who operate their own adult Websites. Because of these opportunities, women are thriving on the Net as providers. It offers an opportunity for female empowerment. "It's like... yeah we're sexual, we enjoy showing off and we can also make money doing that," Dr. Block says. "It's a sexual opportunity that is difficult to achieve without the Web."
True, a female could work as a stripper or in the porn industry offline, but she must deal with all of the people and situations within that environment, which she may not want to do. Online, though, exhibitionism becomes more of a private affair.
So...
Theresa Reed, former Editor-in-Chief of Exotic magazine, feels that the formula for a porn site for women is a little more complex and not as defined as for men. Her take is that many women are still discovering what their own sexuality will be like. "We've only been sexually liberated for a few decades, so many of us are peeling layers of repression away because of fears and messages we were taught as kids," she says.
Significantly, the complexity may even go beyond nurture to nature. "I remember reading a study that a woman craves a certain type of man depending on her menstrual cycle." Reed says that, according to the study, when a woman is ovulating and fertile, she seeks images of men that are very masculine. "Obviously because she wants to increase her chances of getting pregnant. While when a woman isn't fertile, she wants to see a more feminine looking man, which connotes that the man would be a better caretaker for the children," she says.
The complexity of what females want in their porn suggests that perhaps only women can develop this market. In fact many Webmistressses work together and don't consider each other competitors. "No one is really in competition as we are so new at this. Any traffic that is generated goes to benefit the whole network in some way," Paterson says. Sites often carry the "by and for women" clause as a badge of honor.
In fact, an adult site catering to women can be a tough place for a man to even visit. Hotquack remembers being in a chat room when a man dropped by to make his move. "He came in and asked if any of the 'fine' women wanted their cluts played with," she laughs. "We showed no mercy and ribbed his ass until he left the room."
