Howard Stern took a break from his vacation to post a message on his Website in response to the Federal Communications Commission's decision to fine Clear Channel $495,000 for an episode of the “Howard Stern Radio Show” that aired in 2003.
Stern wrote, "This is not a surprise. This is a follow up to the McCarthy type ‘witch hunt’ of the administration and the activities of this group of presidential appointees in the FCC, led by ‘Colin Powell Jr.’ and his band of players.
“They and others (a senator from Kansas City to a congresswoman from New Mexico) are expressing and imposing their opinions and rights to tell us all who and what we may listen to and watch and how we should think about our lives.
The senator Stern is referring to is Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan), co-sponsor of the Senate version of the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, and the congresswoman Stern was referring to was Rep. Heather Wilson (R-NM), co-sponsor of the House version of Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, a bill that seeks add steeper penalties and more stringent enforcement of FCC indecency regulations. The bill has already been passed by the House and is on the Senate's calendar.
Stern claims that the government is attempting to control the way American’s think by tightening control of what is and is not broadcast, writing “It is pretty shocking that governmental interference into our rights and free speech takes place in the U.S. It's hard to reconcile this with the ‘land of the free’ and the ‘home of the brave.’”
Stern warns that libraries and museums could be next.
Yesterday the FCC announced that they were fining Clear Channel $495,000, the maximum possible, for broadcasting an episode of the Stern show on six radio stations were cited for airing the episode in question. The FCC decided to fine each station $27,500, the maximum penalty, for each utterance of indecency, the first time that the commission has done so.
Prior to this decision the FCC had only fined stations once per program or program segment, no matter how many indecent utterances occurred.
Clear Channel responded by announcing that they would no longer carry Stern on their stations. Clear Channel suspended Stern from their stations earlier this year in response to the FCC crackdown on indecency.
One of the “Howard Stern Radio Show” segments that the Federal Communications Commission found violated their indecency standards was a discussion about the previous day’s show. The other two violations were for a segment promoting Sphincterine, a spray pitched as an anal hygiene spray.
The transcript provided by the complainant to the FCC shows that on April 9, 2003 Stern and the rest of his cast were in a conversation about negative feedback from both the public and the family members of the cast and crew of regarding the previous day’s show, which had an anal sex motif.
The regular cast and crew of the show discussed their personal opinions and experiences regarding anal sex throughout the show on April 8. Guests Lisa Marie Presley, Steve O and others gave their opinions on anal sex as well.
Stuttering John claimed that he had anal sex every other time he and his wife have sex, admitting the following day that he had exaggerated that claim some after his wife became upset for making their private lives public.
The FCC Enforcement Bureau wrote in the NALF that “(g)iven the explicit description of oral sex and the sustained discussion of a cast member’s anal-sex practices, all of which were accompanied by sound effects of flatulence and evacuation, it is clear that the material was designed to shock and pander.”
The following is a transcript of “The Howard Stern Show” episode that resulted in the NALF. The FCC believes the segment in question was originally broadcast on April 9, 2003, between 7:25 and 7:45 a.m.
The transcript was provided to the FCC by the person who filed the complaint from Florida.
Segment #1
Stern: …John’s anal talk. John revealed that in his sex life with his wife they have anal every other time they do it, [Sound of flatulence or anal evacuation] which seems excessive. Some people wrote in. Here’s one: “John must have some homosexual fantasies based on his need for [flatulence] anal. [flatulence] We all know it doesn’t feel nearly as good as straight sex.” I don’t know if a man or a woman wrote that. [flatulence]
“Jesus H. Christ, just the thought of that [flatulence] obese slob Artie on the bed all sweaty, hairy, and naked giving his girlfriend [flatulence] a, what do you call that, using his mouth in a really dirty place makes we want to friggin’ shoot myself. Imagining the scene with Bobbabooey was no better. [flatulence].”
Robin: Oh, my God.
Finally, “if Stuttering John keeps up with his every other time [flatulence][at this point you can clearly hear that something is deleted or “dumped” from Stern’s commentary by means of the broadcast delay capability] unless of course he’s so small that it isn’t much of a strain on her.”*
John: Hey, Howard, I was only kidding about that.
Stern: No you weren’t. Why, your wife came down on you?
John: Let’s just say it wasn’t a pleasant day in the Menendez household.
Stern: Really, why? Is she embarrassed?
John: Yes, she doesn’t, you know, want our sex life out [flatulence].
Stern: Oh please! So, what, no more anal?
John: [flatulence] Let’s just say it’s every once in awhile [flatulence].
Stern: Aye, yi, yi. You were lying, then, yesterday.
John: Yeah, I was lying [flatulence].
Stern: Okay. What?
Another voice: You know what? The in-laws heard. That’s got to be tough.
Stern: Was it the in-laws?
John: No, no, she just happened to turn it on and goes “What is this?”
Stern: But I’ve heard from her [flatulence] that she loves anal.
John: Yes, but that’s at the dinner table with us, not with the whole world listening [flatulence].
Another voice, imitating John’s mother-in-law: I saw you telling everyone that you give anal to my daughter. [flatulence]
Segment #2
Stern: So Bruce, I’m going to let you plug your product Sphincterine. Now I even said I’d let you do your jingle. Give them the Sphincterine jingle, first of all.
Bruce: All right, this is a band called the Dead Beatles. [Musical jingle begins]: Sphincterine makes you tingle, feel so clean. Oh, Sphincterine. Cleans you sphincter and what’s between. Ho, hey!
Stern: What did you pay for that?
Bruce: Nothing, that’s my band the Dead Beatles.
Stern: The Sphincterine product. How much money have you invested in this so far would you say?
Bruce: Probably about twenty grand.
Stern: And it’s …
Robin: How much have you made?
Bruce: I probably have tripled that in just about six months, nine months.
Robin: Really?
Stern: You say you invented Sphincterine because a chick was giving you oral and you had a swamp ass?
Bruce: Yeah, that’s basically it, Howard, yeah. I had a bad experience and my girl friend who’s in the green room right now was in a spontaneous mood and she caught me at a bad time and …
Stern: Is you girlfriend good looking?
Bruce: Yeah, she’s cute.
Stern: Yeah. So, oh, let me talk to her. I want to hear what swamp ass smells like.
Bruce: I’m not sure she’s going to want to do this.
Stern: What, describe swamp ass?
Bruce: She can describe swamp ass, but I’m not so sure she wants to go on the air.
Stern: So, when you develop a product, are you a chemist, that you would know how to do it?
Bruce: Yes.
Stern: What?
Bruce: I’m a chemist. I develop products for a natural product company. And, uh, …
Stern: So you decided to branch out on your own.
Bruce: Yeah.
Stern: Oh, there’s your girlfriend. She is cute.
Bruce: Thank you.
Stern: So you were giving this animal oral, and you said “Man you’ve got swamp ass”? Was that how it went down?
Female Guest (Cat): Actually no, I went close for oral.
Bruce: How close? Nine inches away, I think it was.
Cat: Yeah.
Stern: Yeah. And you just said …
Robin: You couldn’t get any closer.
Stern: And you said, “Oh, my God. You stink.” [recording of flatulence noise] What happened? Had you gone to the bathroom that day and not showered?
Bruce: Yeah, it was like the end of the day, and Cat is a spontaneous woman and she just caught me with my pants down [flatulence noise].
Stern: Okay [flatulence noise] and you’re hot by the way.
Cat: Thank you.
Stern: Yeah. What are you doing with a guy with swamp ass? [flatulence]
Bruce: Hey, it was a one shot deal.
Stern: Honey, before I’d bang you I’d take a nice shower.
Cat: You would?
Stern: Yeah, I sure would.
Cat: Oh. That would be nice.
Stern: Yeah. So …
Bruce: I go beyond that. Now I Sphincterine before I bang her.
Stern: Talk about Sphincterine. So, you developed this product, and let’s say I go to the bathroom, and I don’t feel fresh.
Bruce: You were talking recently about when you go to the bathroom, you use toilet paper with water on it. This product is really excellent for that particular situation you have.
Stern: What is it, a spray bottle or a cream?
Bruce: It’s a liquid, and it also comes in towelettes. So what you’ve got is something that you, the liquid, that you apply to toilet paper like water, as you once said on the air.
Stern: I see.
Bruce: You put it on, it’s all natural ingredients.
Stern: Is it like a baby wipe?
Bruce: It’s like a baby wipe, but those wipes are loaded with chemicals and bad ingredients. This is all natural, and it feels good. And you know, I’m going to let Cat talk about another purpose, uh, Cat.
Stern: I don’t know if I want an infomercial.
Bruce: No, Howard, this is cool.
Stern: You know your dog was probably going to beat Artie anyway.
Bruce: The bottom line is that Cat uses it on the front as well.
Stern: Really? No problems using that? It doesn’t affect you in anyway?
Cat: No. Actually, but it has a nice effect. It makes you tingle…
