For years medical experts and scholars have believed that the embarrassing, debilitating, and often smelly malady affecting many thousands of women known as Irritable Bowel Syndrome was caused by mundane lifestyle factors such as diet, stress, and exercise. But JM Productions, after conducting weeks of research, have proven definitively that the true cause of IBS is in fact something far more sinister: brutal and unrelentingly agonizing sodomy.
But how could people with fancy educations and country club memberships be proven wrong by the socially disconnected perverts at JM? “I think the answer is actually very simple,” explained JM’s publicist Tony Malice. “Women simply don’t feel comfortable confiding in their doctor that they have invited Herschel Savage into their anus. It’s an awkward admission, so they make up lies such as ‘they are stressing out at work’ or ‘my husband beats me.’ We’ve long suspected this wasn’t true, since – let’s face it, women don’t really work and domestic violence doesn’t really exist.”
JM contract girl Ashley Blue was enlisted to participate in the company’s research.
“When Jim Powers called to tell me about this project he explained that it was going to be used for the benefit of medical science,” she said. “But I’m really starting to think that was bullshit. That maniac is just trying to come up with more ways for me to get mercilessly fucked in the ass. It’s really starting to hurt.”
IBS cover girl Sierra Sinn shares Ashley’s feelings.
“Jeff Steward told me that this movie was an important step towards finding a cure for Irritable Bowel Syndrome,” she said. “But the treatment that they provided really didn’t help. Ever since I did this scene my shit comes out like water.”
Company officials insist though that the project had its merits. “Sure, we didn’t cure any diseases,” said the JM owner Steward. “But each one of these girls gets brutally cornholed and is forced to eat the rancid cumshot out of their own ass. I’m sure that helps society somehow. It has to.”
Irritable Bowel Syndrome hits the streets simultaneously on VHS and DVD Oct. 10 and stars Sinn, Blue, Bailey, Cindy Crawford and Liv Wylder. Call 800.550.3659 to order or visit Jerkoffzone.com.
