Think of it as a sort of "Night of the Stars" for the Religious Right – and this was just the first day of the 2006 Values Voter Summit, part of a series of meetings of religious conservatives that co-sponsor Family Research Council (FRC), through its openly-political arm, FRC Action, calls "The Washington Briefing."
The event was held at the Omni Shoreham Hotel, a stately older establishment that also hosted the Conservative Political Action Conference in February. The venue may have been selected because the Omni chain does not offer its guests any adult pay-per-view choices on the hotel cable system – no doubt a plus for another summit co-sponsor, Phil Burress's Citizens for Community Values, which co-sponsored an anti-adult pay-per-view ad in USA Today in August, and which runs the CleanHotels.com website, devoted to – guess what!
All the big names were here: FRC head Tony Perkins; Rev. Jerry Falwell, who spoke at an exclusive "FRC Action Breakfast for Pastors; Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family (and FRC and the Alliance Defense Fund, whose head Alan Sears, formerly of the Meese Commission, also spoke); Sen. George Allen (R.-Va.); Sen. Sam Brownback (R.-Kan.); Rep. Mike Pence (R.-Ind.); Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R.-Colo.); Gov. Mitt Romney (Mass.); Gov. Mike Huckabee (Ark.); L. Brent Bozell, III, founder of the Media Research Group and Parents Television Council (you know, the group that filed over 98% of the FCC's indecency complaints over the past few years); Dr. Ted Baehr, who runs the theocrat film rating magazine and website MovieGuide.com; plus several more "personalities" whose names would only be familiar to those who read a lot of religious right websites.
Also scheduled for later Friday evening were Gary Bauer, former head of the Christian Coalition, now head of Americans United to Preserve Marriage & American Values – an obvious attempt, like Pat Robertson's American Center for Law & Justice (ACLJ), to create a name similar enough to an existing non-theocrat organization – in this case, Americans United for Separation of Church & State – that some will be confused when doing a web search – and the lovely (some would say "anorexic") Ann Coulter, who undoubtedly would be talking about the public reception of her latest book, Godless, which trashes just about anybody who's ever had a good thing about The Left, including a group of New Jersey widows who lost their husbands in the 9/11 attack. (This author couldn't bring himself to stay for that virtual bloodbath.)
Oh; and they were also bringing in Steve Bridges, the George Bush look-alike whose humor was well eclipsed at last spring's National Press Club dinner by Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert's "homage" to Bush.
In truth, there was little talk here about pornography or the adult industry – but they did talk at length about the next best thing: Bringing religion back (some would say "farther") into government, which for the adult industry is at least as bad.
The event got off to an early start; Falwell's breakfast was scheduled for 7:15, and attendees got to choose between that ticketed event and another pay-for-pray feast sponsored by Bauer's organization. Then, as the doors to the Shoreham's ballroom opened, the crowds were greeted by an invocation by Father Frank Pavone, national director of Priests For Life, which, surprisingly (or maybe not), is not an anti-Iraq War organization; a "presentation of colors" by the Armed Forces Color Guard; a recital of the Pledge of Allegiance (this version, of course, containing the "under God" reference) and a rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.
Pence was the first speaker; introduced by Perkins as "a man, a conservative and a Republican, in that order." Pence made one of the day's few mentions of illegal immigration, which was being floated just a few months ago as the issue that would get conservatives out to the polls in November ... until somebody realized that it was those conservatives who were employing most of the illegal aliens. Pence's plan, which grew out of his "commitment to justice," was to "do border security first," after which he and his 110 fellow House conservatives would "reject amnesty" but be in favor of a "guest worker program" that wouldn't lead to citizenship but would require the "guests" to learn English ... and would require a "partnership between business and government" that would include fines and penalties for hiring illegals.
Gov. Romney spoke next, and can you guess what his "Topic A" was?
Yep; "American society is built on the foundation of family life," he claimed, but the Massachusetts Supreme Court "struck a blow ... against that value." How? They ruled that the state can't discriminate against gays when it comes to marriage.
But the gay marriage issue isn't about adults getting married, according to Romney: "Marriage is primarily about the development and nurturing of children." And how can children be properly developed and nurtured when gays are insisting that birth certificates no longer read "mother" and "father" but "Parent A" and "Parent B"? And when parents aren't allowed to take their kids out of classrooms when the teacher reads books about kids who have two mommies? And when religious adoption agencies can't place kids because the law won't allow them to discriminate against would-be gay parents?
"Liberals love democracy only so far as the outcome is guaranteed to be in their favor," he declared, noting that the main plank in the Democrats' party platform was – you guessed it again! – same sex marriage.
But who knew that gay marriage being legal in just one state actually affects child development and nurturing in all states? Call it the "virus theory" of same-sex marriage, and Romney's against it; he wants a federal law banning the practice ... and he's sure it will happen: "Great people come forward when there's great need," he assured.
Same-sex marriage was also the main focus of the panel that followed Romney's talk. That panel consisted of Dobson, Perkins and Sears, and several times broke down into a mutual admiration society – and what the hell was Perkins doing bringing up some story about Dobson going bear hunting?
Among the things the audience learned from these three were:
•When states put the same-sex marriage question on the ballot, an average of 71% of the people vote against the practice.
•In Alabama, an anti-same-sex ballot initiative got 79% of the vote – but nobody in the mainstream media reported that fact.
•According to Perkins, whose group has worked with pastors to create anti-same-sex marriage initiatives, "The other side is working aggressively to stop these initiatives," but in order to do so, they "must stop the churches."
•The ACLU relies on "fear and intimidation" to silence churches, and "uses every type of national disaster to advance their agenda"; however, Perkins promised, "No longer in America when a pastor stands up [to same-sex marriage] will that pastor stand alone."
•Realizing there might be some in the audience who didn't share their views – for instance, Barry Lynn, head of (according to Perkins) "Americans United for the Division of the Country," had apparently bought a membership to the summit – Perkins was careful to note, "This is not about endorsing candidates; this is about talking about concerns." However, he recommended using the letter Lynn was sending to clergy, advising them of IRS restrictions on church politicking, to line bird cages.
•"Everything we say [here] is approved by lawyers," Dobson added, also noting that, "Barry Lynn makes his living off me."
It was definitely shaping up that the theocrat leadership would be attempting to use the same-sex marriage issue to bring "the flock" to the polls in '06 just as they had in '04 – but in '04, the Iraq War was still fairly new and (to some) arguably winnable, the Republicans still had some credibility left, and Bush was still over 40% in the polls.
The next panel was dedicated to – you guessed it (dang, you're good!) – same-sex marriage, this one featuring Prof. Robert George of Princeton University; Rep. Musgrave, and syndicated columnist Maggie Gallagher – and the soundbites flowed like wine.
"We must avoid complacency," George declared, or else New Jersey, which has yet to pass a law to prevent official recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other states, "could become a Las Vegas" of gay marriage, because even with the confirmations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito, "The [U.S.] Supreme Court continues to be a threat to marriage."
"This issue that's in front of us today is very important," assured Musgrave. "If we have gay marriage, our religious liberties are gone... The future is grim unless we do what we need to: Elect people to positions of authority in the state and United States Congress to fight the good fight for our children and ourselves."
"The procreative dimension of human love" is threatened by gay marriage, intoned Gallagher, who also claimed that gay marriage was responsible for pretty much everything that's wrong with children in society today, from juvenile delinquency to promiscuity to poor grades in school.
Gallagher also attempted to distinguish the gay marriage rights movement from the black civil rights movement of the '60s, but noted that those who oppose gay marriage would likely suffer the same legal and societal penalties as had those who had discriminated against blacks. (Obviously, that analogy didn't work very well for her cause, but the audience hardly noticed.)
The morning's penultimate speaker was anti-porn crusader Sen. Sam Brownback, but he never got around to mentioning the subject he's held at least three Senate hearings on. Instead, he spent most of his time talking about "the dignity of personhood," which, for him, means "honor[ing] God in the public square and not throw[ing] him out"; opposing assisted suicide and embryonic stem cell research, which he claimed had produced no results even though a quarter of a billion dollars had been spent on it already; and pushing a bill that would require that a fetus be anesthetized if it were over 20 weeks old and to be aborted, because fetuses at that age "have more pain receptors than adults."
Brownback was also not without his aphorisms: "Roe v. Wade is going to be overturned in the future," he assured, and "The best way to raise a child is with a man and a woman bound together for life."
Brownback, who said he was raised to be an auctioneer, was outdone, however, by the morning's final speaker, Gov. Mike Huckabee, a former pastor – and it showed.
"The people's priorities haven't necessarily been Washington's priorities," Huckabee said, sounding the familiar conservative refrain that the common folk can handle most problems better than government – like, for instance, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina: "When the government failed, the American people did not."
Huckabee is in favor of having more "people of faith" in politics, but they should be "people of compassion" – perhaps not the best choice of words, since Americans might still remember what became of one famous "compassionate conservative."
Huckabee sounded the familiar anti-same-sex marriage refrain, but with a bit more humor: "Until Moses comes down with two stone tablets from Brokeback Mountain, let's keep marriage what it is," he advised.
Noting that he is "pro-life," Huckabee snuck a bit of environmentalism past his audience, by suggesting that being pro-life not only means opposing abortion, but also being in favor of clean air and pure water.
However, Huckabee was the only speaker so far to mention porn – though in a sort of backdoor fashion. He had no truck with feminists, he said, but "if we could work with feminists to oppose pornography and child abuse and battery of women, we should do it."
Keep watching AVN.com for more about how religious conservatives at the Values Voter Summit want to screw you.
