If chickens made porn, what kind of content would they produce? Would it come to be known by the more delicate euphemism "fowl entertainment?" I only ask because, for some reason probably best left in the ether, chickens play a significant role in American folk sayings and fables: They cross roads, warn everyone the sky is falling, lay eggs, count, write illegibly, display immeasurable cowardice, and probably engage in all manner of other un-chicken-like behaviors. It seems chickens can't be too anthropomorphic. (In some parallel universe, there's a cult-classic movie Planet of the Chickens. I know there is.)
Possibly never before in the history of chickenkind has the question "Which came first: the chicken or the egg?" popped up as frequently as it did when we asked this month's Burning Question ("Which is more important: content or traffic?"). Of course, that was not unexpected. Neither was the neat little dividing line between the opinions of content producers and traffic pushers. As with most things, where an Internet pro's opinion falls along the spectrum of all possible answers evidently depends in large measure upon whence his or her income derives. It's all a matter of perspective.
What did surprise us is that more BQ respondents didn't take the chicken's way out and say "They're equally important." Apparently having borne feathers in a previous life, that's where I think I would have gone. After all, what good does having the most exquisite content in the world do a producer if no one sees it? Conversely, how beneficial is tons of traffic if your content sucks so badly people can't beat a hasty enough retreat? Both scenarios are financial sinkholes waiting to happen.
As it turns out, debating the issue is also an excellent way to tie oneself in knots for hours at a time; take my word for it. It's much like the un-winnable argument about whether editorial or advertising is more important to a publication's financial health. You haven't lived until you've gotten between a content producer and a traffic pusher and set them at each other's throats, only to find that in the end, they shake hands and agree to do business together—over your poor, mangled body. This devil's advocate thing just isn't working for me….
That's one of the absolutely fascinating things about the adult industry, though. Perhaps because the industry remains relatively small in population, competitors in adult don't attempt to compete by wiping out, buying out, or humiliating their rivals, but by forming effective alliances. Although there are exceptions (more in the brick-and-mortar end of the biz than online), adult enterprises don't engage in the sorts of corporate shenanigans for which the mainstream world is all too notorious. More often, they decline to put all their eggs in one basket and instead agree to work together for mutual benefit. "I've got this killer content. You say you have an enormous amount of convertible traffic? Well, hell, send it on over and I'll pay you for it!" The phenomenon prompts the question, "If adult entrepreneurs are despicable hooligans with questionable morals, then why are they the ones who are able to make a kinder, gentler business environment work?"
Perhaps it works because, like chickens (or any bird, for that matter), the adult industry is too busily engaged in finding its next meal to plot world domination. Although the outside world often seems to view adult as some sort of terrorist cell intent upon subverting humanity by way of its loins, mainstream frequently finds itself taking business and technology lessons from adult. Doesn't it sometimes just make you want to shout, "Get over it, you self-important prudes!"?
But back to chickens…. Did you realize the chicken is said to be the closest living relative of the Tyrannosaurus Rex? I'm not sure whether that makes chickens more impressive or T. Rex less so, but it certainly lends a new complexion to the phrase "hen-pecked." It's also been demonstrated by research (your tax dollars at work) that chickens prefer to look at humans who possess the physical attributes that make humans sexually attractive to each other.
Maybe chicken porn isn't such a far-fetched concept after all.
