But They Look so Similar

A British police officer arrested for allegedly masturbating in his car claims he actually was twiddling with his cell phone.

Detective Inspector Stephen Clay is alleged to have pulled up next to care worker Valerie Smith at a traffic light. When Smith glanced over at Clay, she was “horrified” to see him fondling his erect penis, a jury heard yesterday.

Clay’s lawyer questioned Smith about whether she could have been mistaken about what she saw.

Undaunted, Smith replied, “I do know the difference between a mobile telephone and a penis.”

Smith, in her 50s, went on to tell the Doncaster Crown Court that she got a perfect view of what the 44-year-old Clay was doing because her Toyota Corolla Verso van was higher than his Rover.

According to Smith’s testimony, she “ glanced across and noticed the driver was rubbing his private parts. He just kept staring straight ahead. He obviously wanted to be seen by members of the public because he sat there with his penis erect. I was angry and shaking. I just thought if my granddaughter had been in my car. It’s not pleasant.”

After witnessing Clay’s activity, Smith took down his vehicle’s license number.

Clay, of Scunthorpe, later was arrested by fellow Humberside cops. He told them he was scrolling through the calendar on his flip-up phone in his lap.

The trial continues.