Recently, my friend and I spent the day cruising around Los Angeles in a nondescript white van, engaging female pedestrians by politely asking if they’d be interested in having sex with one of us on camera in the backseat. We even offered $500, surely an incentive that any adventurous (read: whorish) gal couldn’t resist. You’d think a nice-looking fellow like myself sitting in a van and waving money at unsuspecting women would be the sex ploy of the year.
Not so. In fact, our endeavor was maddeningly unsuccessful, save for the homeless woman who, I imagine, desired warmth more than anything else. The van sojourn proved fruitless, which is why I love the ‘reality porn’ niche: guys in nondescript vans ostensibly have no trouble scoring dumb whores who’ll fuck on camera.
Maybe it’s me.
We all know the girls are paid models. If you think those ‘real’ girls walking out of Starbuck’s are truly captivated by three strange guys in a van, then you probably think “The Bachelor” is real, too.
But we sane folks know it’s all an act—more often, well-crafted thespian sex. What I like best about sites like BackseatBangers, MyFirstSexTeacher, and PleaseFuckMyWife is how the ‘cast’ works so diligently to make each episode plausible.
I once watched a scene in which a guy looking for his buddy ends up sleeping with the dude’s mom. Obviously a joke, but I was amazed at how the actress put every ounce of her acting ability into making sure that I, the guy with cock in hand, believed she really was a sexy mom wanting to screw her son’s friend.
The number of reality sites is incredible. Everything is set up either as farce, like guys fucking their teachers, or semi-serious, like guys wandering the streets of Europe, humping every gal in town. I’m not insinuating there aren’t women in this crazy world who wouldn’t think twice about blowing a guy in the backseat of a van for $200, but unless you're talking about prostitutes, there just aren’t that many.
I’m all for suspending my disbelief when it comes to my five-minute jerk-off fantasy, but the ‘why-yes-these-two-babes-dropped-by-the-studio-thinking-there-was-a-modeling-audition-and-instead-got-drilled-by-three-guys-with-massive-cocks’ notion is absurd. I’m sure the seven or eight people presently reading this are thinking, “Isn’t that the point, dickhead?”
As a onetime frat guy who cherished cheap booze and sorority sluts, I admit I dig ‘reality college porn’ because producers splice footage of actual horny, drunken, partying coeds with footage of pre-arranged sex scenes, seamlessly blurring the line between ‘authentic’ inebriated college girl flashing her tits and ‘imitation’ college girl getting violated on camera. It works. And I’d like to be invited to the next ‘party.’
TeensForCash.com shows just how many nubile girls out there are hurting for funds. SheGotSwitched.com features a guy who fucks his blindfolded girlfriend and then lets his buddy take over. The girl’s ‘stunned’ reaction when she discovers that another guy’s dick was in her mouth is brilliant.
Of course, BangBus, the Hamlet of reality porn sites, is the blueprint for so much reality porn because of its simplicity, hardcore sex, and acerbic wit. Is there ever a better moment than when a group of guys toss a freshly defiled girl out of their van and onto the street, driving off and laughing hysterically? I say, no.
I’d be remiss not to extol the countless unsung models who, bless their hearts, have made acting surprised when being propositioned by guys in vans looking for sex into an art form. The Actor’s Studio faculty would be proud.
My take on the reality site? I’d go to the agency, order a couple amateur models, bring them back to my place, set up the camera, cut the girls their checks, fuck them senseless, and send them on their way.
That’s the reality. Oh, and I’d call it “Tripp’s Fake Sex Adventure.”
The genius of the niche is the intrinsic demand of our fantasies; sure, it’d be cool to have two girls want to fuck me in the KFC bathroom. Duh!
Part of the niche’s popularity and obviousness (wherein the consumer understands it’s fakery) is that we desperately wish it were true that – somehow, someway, someday – we might find ourselves in the very same situation.
In the meantime, I say, keep up the good work. Perhaps my idea of a ”real” reality sex site could be a hit. Then again, who the hell wants reality, even when it’s reality porn?
