Previously, we reviewed Indian Playboy; a promotional film disguised as a pseudo-documentary. The subject: Ecstasy Vision's owner Richard Menon - portrayed as an upcoming virtuoso pornographer. The Masturbation Tape is Menon's brain child.

Beginning with the non sequitur title, the release is far more laughable than laudable. "Your life is about to change!" proclaims the poorly designed box cover. The pretension runs even deeper.

BTS footage reveals Menon dressed in black, directing a "hostess fucks the houseguest" scene. Stokely and Steele listen to his rambling character motivations like deer trapped in proverbial headlights. This stunned look carries into the actual performance. They loosen up a bit during their sexual encounters, but not to any memorable degree. Another segment features Brooke gagging the clam for an unbearable 54 minutes. Verdict: over two hours of precious time lost that viewers will never regain.

Retailing: Couples fare for those who like pussy-eating.