One upon a time there was a family by the name of Sutherland – husband Harding (Paul Thomas), wife Emily (Gloria Leonard) and two children, Nina and Tom (Raven and Tom Byron).  They lived in a big house complete with a handyman (R. Bolla).

As we join our story, the handyman is eating Emily for lunch.  This is before the credits even come up.  Next thing you know the whole family is at dinner.  Tom announces he has a date with the handyman’s daughter.  No ways, says Mama, she is beneath his station. Well what Tom really wants is to have her beneath him, so Nina invites her friend, Taija Rae over and while Mom and Dad are busy making it, Taija goes under.  But as luck, or storyline, would have it Mom gets done first and almost catches Tom with his gun smoking, as it were.

Mom verbally reams out the handyman and he orally returns the favor.  But now the panties are on the other foot and they are observed by Nina who tips off Daddy, who catches a look at the action in the afternoon and gets real pissed.  So pissed, in fact, that he ends up shtuping his own daughter.  By this time, Nina has already been deflowered by the handyman’s son Clete (Frank Serrone).

Mom gets wind of everything going down and heads off to see her shrink.  She tells him the whole story (which must have taken more than one session) and at the close of episode, blurts out that Daddy is porking his own daughter.

By this time, I was hooked. Now I confess I gave up Dallas after the first year, and have never seen Dynasty, Knotts Landing, or Falcon Crest. But this is good stuff. I don’t mean to imply the viewer can expect to find Macbeth here. It is a soap opera. It is musical beds, but there is a reason for everything that happens although that reason may be entirely predictable.

If there is a flaw, it is that there probably is not a young adult actress who can f**k and act.  Raven can do one, but not the other, and that is a shame, because the plot demands it.  The remainder of the cast, especially Paul Thomas, Gloria Leonard and R. Bolla are more than capable, but the whole thing revolves around Raven’s ability to be bitchy, and she can’t pull that one off.

Nevertheless, I think Taboo, American Style, Part I is the best adult movie I have seen in years, with the finest cinematography and the kinkiest story.  Like a good soap, it is addictive and I’ll let you in on a secret: it gets better in the next episode. But that’s another review.  I’ll make the AVN management a friendly bet.  If it doesn’t win at least two AVN Best Awards for 1985, I’ll buy you guys dinner, and if it does, we’ll renegotiate my contract.