Released | Jan 01st, 1995 |
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Running Time | 78 |
Director | Frank Marino |
Company | Bedtime Theater |
Critical Rating | AA 1/2 |
Genre | Feature |
Remember the nitwit '60s sitcom "My Mother the Car"? Here's the porn version, where racer Woody Long gets reincarnated into a Corvette, which he's willed to his girlfriend Celeste (who really revs up the boxcover). The Frank Marino touch brings us exceptionally crisp lensing, best showcased in the opening bar room scene with Celeste and Woody as they drink each other's juices. Yet grease-monkey T.T. Boy's so anxious to get over his dialogue that he zips through it faster than a 1-2 horsepower Four-Banger, yelling "shut up" to Crystal Wilder before she even opens her mouth.
After the fatal (offscreen) crash, most of the cast gravitate to the tiny garage set where the 'Vette is parked so that they can perform their perfunctory sex scenes on the hood (T.T. Boy & Micki Lynn) or on the rich Corinthian leather seats (Lynn LeMay munches the crotchless portion of Celeste's lace stockings.) Crystal trades a decent boff 'n' facial for her o.t. bill from sleazy lawyer Jonathan Morgan, but aside from a few machinations on stick shifts and crank shafts, this creaky vehicle rarely gets out of second gear.