And you thought Mike Tyson has problems? A lovers' lane is terrorized by a chainsaw wielding maniac who leaves his victims looking like ravioli.

Two nincompoop cops named Sweeney Birdwell (Jake Dengel) and Joe Blocker (Joe Sharkey) are assigned to the case. Sweeney has a definitely disturbed sense of humor caused by a chain smoking harpie of a wife who speaks through a throat amplifier. Block has a very weak stomach. Guess which one is the riot at the autopsies?

Birdwell and Blocker discover a pattern linking these homicides to a similar string of murders that occurred in Las Vegas 12 years earlier. (Probably a disgruntled fan trying to get in the adult section at the CES show).

The investigation pinpoints a suspect named Jackie Cairo who operates a restaurant in Egypt town. If videophiles start seeing connections between this film and Blood Feast and Blood Diner, don't take credit for being extremely perceptive.

Veronica Hart plays a roller skating waitress in an Egyptian gourmet food drive-in, and things go downhill from there, though Hart gets an incredible amount of screen time. You'll see why, and I won't spoil the fun.

If you like sick films totally devoid of intellectual or cultural merit, you're not going to want to miss Bloodsucking Pharoahs From Pittsburgh. Wannabe independent film producers should, likewise, check it out for inspiration. If a big name like Paramount will distribute it, anything's possible.