Unedited except for shameless looping, poorly lit Love At First Sex #32 is a mess. Start with a threeway with a bleached blonde and two black dudes.

Folks, if this babe had terminal diarrhea, and then Mt. St. Helens went off under her ass, she might say, "Oooh." After a silent half-hour, the bigger guy squeezes out an invisible orgasm, and I prayed for a new scene. Instead, another black dude moves in, getting a minimum response – mild indigestion. Perhaps. So help me, 48 minutes long. Another bleached blonde tattoo farm tries to distract her rocker-wannabe boyfriend with a curved pink vibrator, so he helps – for 25 minutes of faked orgasms. Next, a Steve Drake-lookalike gets blown by a 40-plus Ellen Travolta-lookalike, who never undresses, which is OK, because he's better-looking.

Last up is an Alex Sanders-lookalike: trouble is, it's a girl, who shoves a dildo in her shaved pussy for a while. I don't think any of these people were having fun; I know I wasn't.