In the inmortal words of Christoph Clark as he eases his manicured finger into Vanda's moistened mustard jar, "Ah, so goot!" Given the fact that Christoph's wearing Farmer John overalls in this first of three resounding rectal sequences, you might get the impression he's describing a plateful of country-fresh sausage. But, as you and I know, that's not the case. Then, in ways that might not be considered delicate by country folk standards, Christoph proceeds to irrigate Vanda's brown patch like an Okie who's suffered through the lean years of the dust bowl.

Off come the kneeling Vanda's white cotton panties (which the awe-stricken, bystanding John Stagliano takes an opportunity to sniff). Out comes a thick black baton, and gape goes the ass. Clark works Vanda's behind, whispering words of love to it and squeezing it romantically, like a Philadelphia mummer tendering his first accordion on New Year's Day. More fingers and plastic balls, then Clark breaches Vanda's hindquarters with reverse cowgirl and sidesaddle impunity. By the time Christoph is through hoisting Vanda on his petard, Ildiko, Mike Foster, Zolt Walton (and what could pass as 10,000 Macedonians in full battle array by the time all the bodies pile together in one feverish lump sum) enter the fracas. Toe-sucking, pile-driving, d.p.s. and full-court anal presses —this is professional ass-fucking at its absolute fines.

The next scene, or what constitutes the blond daily double, has got pre-nom written all over it. But you gotta keep two things in mind: Caroline's the one wearing the white lace pantyhose and Kata wears the bluish, purplish fishnets. Even though the girls have distinct facial characteristics, by the time that camera zooms in on their gaping assholes, it's like trying to tell politicians apart.

Before we get to proper identities and the police lineup aspect of the situation, Clark has the girl promenading in pumps and outerwear that are lasciviously designed to accent the butt cheeks in all their ass-blemish, extreme visual close-up glory. The recently-failed $165 million mars landing could have wished for so much coverage.

For the record, Kata wears a pair of obscene, backside-splitting toreador pants which solicits a thank you to God for fashions from the '50s. For masturbators, this moment alone is worth two boxes of Kleenex. Then we get to the good stuff as white cotton panties also prevail along with the requisite sphincter stretches (Kata's is almost surreal); nose-sniffing and butt bongo. You will find every imaginable anal gesture, play toy and position written distinctly into this scene as Clark divides his cock (and lubricant) between the two girls. By the time the very busty Gina Vice mounts the face of Nacho Vidal in Stagliano's PCH headquarters, the question can be legitimately raised, will there be a dry brown eye in the house? Not necessarily. Gina knows how to click her heels, strut and occupy the camera's attention with her animated posterior. Not to mention the fact that her abundant ass sees a translucent butt plug and the dildo equivalent of a piano leg. After all this, it's almost amusing when Nacho mounts her with a condom. Well, a girl's gotta have her do's and dont's.