"Hot chicks, man! Hot chicks!" GM Video's George Martin yells jubilantly, capturing drunken Memorial Day revelers at their least inhibited on the Colorado River. It's nothing but class for three days on this journey. There's the pretty brunette who removes her bloody tampon in full view of a cheering crowd, the canisters of whipped cream and processed cheese that are sprayed onto half-naked bodies and licked off, the guys with the sign reading "Show Me Your Tits" on one side and "Bitch" on the other, and the genius who tucks his penis between his legs and wiggles around to bad dance music. There's pussy licking and cock sucking and wet T-shirt contests and the inevitable testosterone-fueled fistfights.

And through it all is Martin and his crew, cameras in hand, praising boobs whether they're upthrust or saggy and cajoling every girl in sight to drop her bikini bottoms. And those hot chicks Martin's so thrilled to have around? Oh, they're there all right, brain cells a-wastin'. This reviewer's fave is a blonde who gets a rubdown with baby oil and bursts into poetry. "Baby, baby, you wanna see a baby? Shut yer ass!" she crows. Thank you, Anne Sexton.