Nailing a hot porn vid isn't always the easiest task in the world, but it helps if the "creator" knows what industry their working in. If competence were really an issue, this (luckily uncredited) helmsman wouldn't get hired to direct traffic at a bumper car arcade. With a series entitled Mature Shavers, you'd think that a few women who actually sport hairy pussies would be the kind to hire!!! Not stubble. Not landing strips. Need we go on?

Why the hell not! The producers have already wasted our time. Frankly, the DVD is a bitch to navigate. Viewers will be subjected to a litany of unavoidable promos and frequent glitches, which, at least with our screener, made it nigh impossible to get through this beast in one sitting. After several tries, we came to the depressing conclusion that there's nothing worse than bad sex, other than more of it. MS5 is thoroughly forgettable … except for one scene where some third string stud unloads onto a girl's appendix scar - and we won't be forgetting that for a while.