Lust & Desire is a lusty, raunchy and oh-so-funny tale of tails, mixing an intoxicating cocktail of elements such as gorgeous gals, witty dialogue, anger, jealousy, revenge, and car chases, with a healthy jigger of "Hee Haw" crossed with Goodfellas. Starring Nicole London as the street-smart, tough-talking Lust, and Jordan Lee as her more demure cohort, Desire, these two Vegas showgirl strippers find themselves in hot water when they witness Nicole's gangster boyfriend, Johnny (played to the Joe Pesci School of Comic Hilt by T.T. Boy) and his fellow thug Frank (Tony Martino) kill the godawful Elvis impersonator who owes them money. Already weary and disparaged at having to make a living taking their clothes off for drunks, the goils are now forced to take it on the road, getting away with their lives before T.T. and Tony catch up to them with what will certainly be dire results.

Barely eluding the gangsters who are hot on their trail, they embark on a "Thelma and Louise"-type of adventure, realizing they now only have each other to rely on for survival. Driving through a remote valley, they decide to take a refreshing dip in a stream which, unbeknownst to them, happens to be on private property. Just over on the other side of a boulder are a mountain couple, Tom (Frank Towers, as a dimwitted Teutonic-sort of Jethro Bodine) and the jealous, hot-tempered Daisy (Kimberly Kummings) cavorting in some sensual outdoor sports. Finding that her property has been sullied by these two brazen sluts, Daisy tangles in a catfight with the balllsy Lust. Goodhearted Tom comes to the rescue, and offers them some down-home hospitality out yonder at his uncle's pig farm: a white trash debutante's dream home, where politeness is a family tradition. This is when the (pig) shit really hits the fan!

Uncle Erle (Mike Horner in an apoplectically hilarious performance as the rotgut-swilling, sex-starved, wheelchairbound uncle), who normally does not cotton to strangers on his spread, quickly changes his mind when he and Billy Boy (Steve Hatcher as the equally-horny but Neanderthal-like cousin) lay eyes upon the two cuties from the city. The likes of which apparently neither have ever seen in their neck of the woods. The sex scene with Jake heartily porking the sympathetic Jordan is more spectacular than a baker's dozen of radiated Nevada sunsets.

But, life on a remote pig farm can be pretty monotonous; so what is a randy young woman named Lust to do for some excitement? For one, challenge a simple backwoods boys to a race on a vast dry lakebed and then, as the winner, live up to her name by schtupping him real good on top of his car as a consolation prize.

Then Horner tricks the too-trusting Desire into bringing him the cookie jar from way up high on a shelf, just so's he can sneak a peek at her succulent derriere. This scene will leave you in stitches as he has her sit before him, cookie jar in lap, and then reaches inside for a treat - only the treat ain't a cookie, but some nookie, as the jar has no bottom and he instead grabs her crotch. Horner first applies his tongue to her like a starved bear lapping up a cache of honey in a tree stump, then paces her astride him for a wheelchair ride to ecstasy while a great blues harmonica solo bounced along with Ms. Lee's bouncing behind.

This movie not only has excellent performances and sizzling sex scenes, but spectacular scenery as well. No lack of beauty here, folks. Lust & Desire is a long, cool, welcoming drink of water.