By definition, tease vids are designed to accentuate sensuality over sexuality... but a proper tease vid is so hot that even the most devoted clock-watcher gets lost in the mounting anticipation. At 100 lugubrious minutes, Dreamgirl 17 seems even longer than it is.

Petite 'n busty Jennifer is a captivating subject, if only in the physical sense. Once she opens her mouth, the emitting drone induces something akin to a hypnotic trance - only you won't find yourself imitating a chicken or regressing to childhood... which, come to think of it, is a whole lot more entertaining than this exercise in faux erotica.

The loquacious director's off-camera voice contrasts Jennifer's monotone with its own smarmy lilt; together they sound like spoiled milk. The fact that Jennifer remains clothed for the first fifteen minutes (while coyly hiding behind a throw pillow) only serves up frustration. Subsequently, a naked romp in the field and some lotion-slathering eats up precious time, but it's not until the 45 minute mark that pink pussy puts in a solo appearance.

Any fool with a consumer camera and a fistful of cash does not a pornographer make. There are girls aplenty for hire. To assess their inner sensuality... to find a way for them to express it-not to mention capture the magic in a manner befitting the material-well, that's an art that many pretend but few achieve. It may look like Playboy on the cover, but lurking inside Dreamgirl 17 is an old Sears catalog.