Thank God that John Holmes kicked off when he did - had he lived, the competition these days would kill him. Monster cock madness is hitting an all time high, and Diesel isn't just batting 400 - he is the friggin' baseball bat!

Finding girls who can accommodate this gentleman is an enviable task thrust upon Brother Love, who consistently partners Diesel with hot holes for his blue-veined diamond drill.

Bardot, Reid and Rey (catch those bejeweled eyes!) are particularly succulent catches in this edition, which features healthy doses of spunky jackhammer action. Only liability: dopey scenarios. Chuck 'em, Bro.

Retailing: Stock big and go long.