"Would you like to swing on a pole...?"

If Bing Crosby were around, he'd probably be singing the theme song to this show.  In a dazzling sense, it taxes the word "eclectic" to the hilt by tossing into the pot bikinis, bikes, lingerie, leather goods, pole dancing and an occasional fireplace for good measure.

Lensed at the Captain Cream Cabaret, a fabled southern California landmark (at least for the dance portion of this competition), this little vid sucks up unabashedly to the Harley crowd by offering premium visions of naked goddesses writhing on the altar of the showroom cycle.  Forget the fact that you're as likely to see one of these damsels at a Sturgis rally as you'd find a lumberjack at a Gay Pride parade.

In any event, buy into the fantasy and enjoy contestant Dawn's nude posing routine. She doesn't win, but what the fu...