Believe it or not, this is an English-speaking video. Emphasis on the word "video," since the boxcover proclaims this to be a film heralding Private's new couples' line. Hire another herald, one might suggest.

Not to put too fine a point on it, if ever a video required subtitles, Les Obstacles de l'Amour certainly provides enough of its own obstacles to create a military training ground. Imagine a conversation with Johnny Belinda, and you've got an idea of the sound mix.

Sex club owner Kris Newz walks about Prague (nice scenery) chatting to god-knows-who on a cellular. Aside from the plug for yuppie technology, there's supposed to be a love story lurking somewhere, mechanical sex and "who-the-fuck-are-they?" characters notwithstanding. A David Duchovny lookalike uses a rubber to screw a blonde in a urinal (no anal). Nothing wrong with this except it's a mighty subtle plug for Private condoms. Cute.

Then there's the fantasy sequence that embarrassingly develops into what looks like a blinding white fog bank hovering over the Golden Gate bridge.

Better luck on the next feature.